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| Why does eating together brings families closer? |
"All great change in America begins at the dinner table." Ronald Regan
When I say "Dinner!" you think ... ? Sudden images of food and family together seem to come to mind, but what is it about food and family? Why do LDS activities almost always involve a refreshment? If there is a connection, wouldn't watching TV together have the same effect?
In a time prior to cooking Top-Ramen in the microwave and eating cold cereal for dinner as a college student, memories of family at the dinner table define many growing teens. A study by
Columbia University finds that kids who eat with their family five times a week get better grades in school and half as likely to abuse harmful substances. Members of the family are fostered by parents as the daily ritual provides an environment where children and parents develop bonds and instruct one another. I recall the number of times that I was taught to chew with my mouth closed or tell Mom what I learned in church that day. The time spent just conversing over a hot meal was unique in its ability to focus on each other, share how terrible or great school was that day and listen to Dad's latest happenings at the office. It was a time investment for each of us to each other.
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| Roman Wedding Feast |
Traditions of dinner have continued throughout the ages. In ancient Rome, a good dinner would begin by 4 p.m. and last long into the evening. It was a privilege to speak at the table, especially regarding the children and those who were wealthy commonly held banquets and hosted guests. Today spending long mealtimes together in Italy is still a dominant factor. From the two years that I served in Naples, Florence and the island of Sardinia, I learned that life can in fact be centered around the dinner table!
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| Sharing stories over pizza, I took this photo in Naples (June 2009) |
Meals can make or break a family as well as a culture. These meals and the value of the family dinner have an important impact on connecting younger generations to their parents and relatives, to the point that any attempt at building relationships whether through family reunions, Thanksgiving, Christmas Dinner, even church activities all share the commonality of something delicious to munch on.
I think one of the reasons so much of our culture and so many of our relationships are improved over dinner is because food is so essential to our existence. Like the giving of bread, sharing a meals connects individuals to each other. As we come together over a common need, we break down the psychological barriers society places on us. We come together, and open up just a little more as we grow to trust those who are kind enough to take care of our needs (like our parents).
ReplyDeleteI know that some of the best coversations I've had occured at the dinner table. And it becomes a place of comfort for me as one of my most essential human needs is satisfied in a delectable manner.
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ReplyDeleteSometimes I think food is somewhat of a safeguard in conversations. You don't have to say something when you're chewing, and you might be kept from saying something that you shouldn't (yes, I speak from experience). Food is also a pre-made opportunity for conversation and laughing. If it's really good, you ask for recipes, or, if the sparkling cider turns out to be a wee bit chunky and possibly fermented, you have an inside joke you can laugh about for years.
ReplyDeleteAfter a steady diet of college cooking, I sure could go for a Roman feast sometime soon...
ReplyDeleteWhy does eating together have such potency for helping people bond? At first, I thought maybe it's because of classical conditioning: you associate the pleasure of the food you consume with the company you keep while you eat. But even when the food is terrible, you still tend to connect better with people after sharing a meal with them. So classical conditioning is out.
I think Kacee was onto something when she talked about breaking down psychological barriers.
I also enjoyed how you tied the Italian theme in throughout your post, Blaine. Well done.
I think one of the reasons food ties us together is because we ALL need it. It's an important part of our physical experience, and God has commanded us to take care of our bodies.
ReplyDeleteA great post, Blaine, tying in both the personal and historical (and keeping the Italian theme going, as Sam said). However, you need to cite the source(s) that you used. (You did link to that scientific study, which was good, but just don't forget the other).
ReplyDeleteKacee, I think you made an excellent point about the psychology of the dinner table.